You Are Not A Superhero
all rights reserved, oOo 2005I suddenly find myself removed from the tit of industry, and it's a weird experience.
It's been a very long time since I've been without a job... even if it's only really been two days.
Shopping for insurance is a weird little thing. It really is. Going through the motions of starting your own company is even more surreal.
The career model of working for other people, I am finding, is like a warm cocoon of safety. In a very real way, it's like a weird mother complex. (Jung would probably agree, but it's okay if you don't.) Seeing it for what it is now, it kind of creeps me out... but I can't help but crave the security of it.
Work for us and you'll be taken care of.
It's an attractive proposition.
I think that I am headed for a hybrid sort of career over the next few years. A merging of oOo, inc. and whomever hires me next. It isn't clear yet, which is a little scary... But I guess I'll find out.
The hardest part right now, is keeping my shit together when those annoying little voices of doubt show up.
What if you can't make this happen?
What if you're still in the same place in six months?
What if you really fucked yourself over this time?
Yeah. Well. Qui ne risque rien n'a rien.
I'd rather take my chances and royally fuck things up than look back forty years from now and wonder "what if?"
What if I'd had the balls to try?
What if I'd had the balls to stop whining and put my money where my mouth is?
What if I had used these god-given talents instead of wasting my time working for assholes who did nothing but hold me back?
And that's when I remember that even if I'm in a bad place six months from now, or a year from now, things will get better. Things will get good.
Life's a marathon, not a 5K. There are bad spots. Get through them, and you come out all the better, stronger and wiser. It's a game of patience, this life. A game of faith. A game of will. You aren't supposed to cruise through it on autopilot.
Losing a job you hated isn't the end of the world. It's not cancer. It's not the love of your life leaving you. It's a temporary hassle. Nothing more.
It's a chance to discover what you're really made of.
It's a chance to test yourself and see if you're ready to be a real man.
No, fuck that. It's a chance to see if you're a superhero.
Yeah.
I'll be okay. I'll figure it out. I'll come out of this rolling in puppies. I know it.
And honestly, I can't wait for all of this paperwork shit to end so I can get started.
Peace out, beyotsches!
posted by oOo @ 03:39
4 Comments:
You are a superhero!..you should change your buzznet face to the french pirate guy again so as to help you remember your superheroness.
Hey there O,
You know there are many of us out there rooting for you, and not only that- we KNOW you will do something good that will make you happy.
It sounds like you have things set in motion to get you to where you want to be. You gave the other place a chance. You gave yourself chance after chance only to have their inactivity slap you in the face time and again.
You are free of them now!
Qui ne risque rien n'a rien is the best saying! I agree with you when you write that you'd rather take your chances and fuck up than look back forty years from now and wonder 'what if? ' There is nothing that stings so much as regret.
I feel the trepidation you have, but at the same time I have the same feeling that the super hero is there too. Just look in the closet a bit further and you will find the cape.
Allez!
come on, you are totally on the right track. you are making progress toward living life, not waking up to go to a job you hate. what more could a person ask for? the voices of dissent should be gassed.
(i like to try to decipher the word verifications like vanity plates. mine was onbktwd.)
I love you all. Seriously. You're wonderful human beings. :)
bghxdtuv?
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